My colleague says:
I've been married 15 years and my wife and I have lived most of that as brother and sister.
There has been no sex AT ALL for the last four years.
Get a girlfriend or get used to it.
Marriage is all about learning how to do without sex.
Sunday, August 13, 2006
Thursday, August 3, 2006
Why Men visit Brothels?
An article from Australia where prostitution is legal in licensed brothels is interesting exploring the type of men that go to brothels:
The Deakin University study found there were two types of brothel client. About 60 per cent visited prostitutes in a straightforward business-like way, but the rest wanted to have an emotional involvement with a sex worker.
It also found that the most common reason for visiting brothels was that sex was less complicated than with a partner. Nearly 80 per cent said they visited brothels due to a high sex drive, with the next most common response a desire for sexual variety.
About a third of the men said visiting prostitutes was the only way they could have sex. More than two thirds visited brothels at least once a month.
Undertaken by the university's Professor of Psychology, Ms Marita McCabe, and Mr. Luke Xantidis, the study surveyed clients of two legal brothels, compared with men who did not visit brothels.
Professor McCabe said there were few significant differences between men who visited brothels and those who did not. Most clients seemed ``remarkably normal'' and both groups were just as likely to have families.
She said it appeared more ``decent blokes'' rather than ``sleazy types'' were using brothels since they had been legalised. ``We found two groups, one was the socially inept, shy and withdrawn. The other group was the type of client who saw it as a business transaction. They were OK in their relationships with women, but saw it as a novelty.
``With those guys it's convenient. They don't have time for a genuine relationship and it's a business relationship, paying a woman for a sexual encounter with no complications at all.''
The socially inept went to prostitutes for relationships because they found it difficult to form them normally, she said. ``Men with difficulties in social interaction may escape into using prostitutes, rather than developing social skills. It can cost them a fortune, spending all their money to support an inadequacy within themselves.''
The survey found that by far the biggest trigger for visiting a brothel was that the men were ``feeling aroused''. Other less common reasons were loneliness and boredom.
The study concluded that it demonstrated ``that men visit sex workers not only for sexual activities that their partner does not provide, but also to fulfill certain psychological needs, such as the need for intimacy and excitement''.
A second study by the Macfarlane Burnet Centre for Medical Research found that prostitutes' clients had an average age of 42 and about half were married or in a defacto relationship.
About 40 per cent had tertiary qualifications and half earned less than $60,000 a year.
Eight per cent of the more than 300 respondents saw prostitutes once a week or more.
About 60 per cent were also having sex with a regular female partner as well as sex workers.
A third of those surveyed said they used prostitutes because they wanted ``good sex''. others liked the convenience of sex without commitment (20 per cent), the companionship (15 per cent) or to relieve their sexual frustration (13 per cent)
The Deakin University study found there were two types of brothel client. About 60 per cent visited prostitutes in a straightforward business-like way, but the rest wanted to have an emotional involvement with a sex worker.
It also found that the most common reason for visiting brothels was that sex was less complicated than with a partner. Nearly 80 per cent said they visited brothels due to a high sex drive, with the next most common response a desire for sexual variety.
About a third of the men said visiting prostitutes was the only way they could have sex. More than two thirds visited brothels at least once a month.
Undertaken by the university's Professor of Psychology, Ms Marita McCabe, and Mr. Luke Xantidis, the study surveyed clients of two legal brothels, compared with men who did not visit brothels.
Professor McCabe said there were few significant differences between men who visited brothels and those who did not. Most clients seemed ``remarkably normal'' and both groups were just as likely to have families.
She said it appeared more ``decent blokes'' rather than ``sleazy types'' were using brothels since they had been legalised. ``We found two groups, one was the socially inept, shy and withdrawn. The other group was the type of client who saw it as a business transaction. They were OK in their relationships with women, but saw it as a novelty.
``With those guys it's convenient. They don't have time for a genuine relationship and it's a business relationship, paying a woman for a sexual encounter with no complications at all.''
The socially inept went to prostitutes for relationships because they found it difficult to form them normally, she said. ``Men with difficulties in social interaction may escape into using prostitutes, rather than developing social skills. It can cost them a fortune, spending all their money to support an inadequacy within themselves.''
The survey found that by far the biggest trigger for visiting a brothel was that the men were ``feeling aroused''. Other less common reasons were loneliness and boredom.
The study concluded that it demonstrated ``that men visit sex workers not only for sexual activities that their partner does not provide, but also to fulfill certain psychological needs, such as the need for intimacy and excitement''.
A second study by the Macfarlane Burnet Centre for Medical Research found that prostitutes' clients had an average age of 42 and about half were married or in a defacto relationship.
About 40 per cent had tertiary qualifications and half earned less than $60,000 a year.
Eight per cent of the more than 300 respondents saw prostitutes once a week or more.
About 60 per cent were also having sex with a regular female partner as well as sex workers.
A third of those surveyed said they used prostitutes because they wanted ``good sex''. others liked the convenience of sex without commitment (20 per cent), the companionship (15 per cent) or to relieve their sexual frustration (13 per cent)
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